at the end of last week, i got a phone call from the local main importer of a high-end italian fashion brand. she wanted to meet up - she said. sounds like an idea - i said. but if it is about any working committment, i may have to add this is kind of bad timing - i explained, proceeding to inform about impending arrival of baby number 2 etc. but sure - let us meet up anyway, i condescended. and so we did.
it was an interesting meeting for me. not from a professional point of view - but more from a psychological perspective. i have come to realise i seem to talk and meet new people here --mainly because i enjoy to observe them better, from a closer angle.
and after one year of doing this - i figure i could write a book about the social dynamics of izmir.
surely, if you compare this city with europe what will stand out in the first place is the noticeable poor standards of living of a huge percentage of the population. their clothes, manners, faces and dead end lives are nothing short than shocking for a visitor used to more westernised and globalised scenarios.
however -- izmir and the country (at least the western side of it) are currently going through an unprecedented moment of development...with the upper middle and upper classes benefiting the most from economic growth and new forms of wealth and affluency. so, it is actually this part of the population that is changing more (and faster) over here. and it is this portion of the locals that seems to offer more food for thought on how manners, habits and behaviours change along with better incomes and better social statuses.
as i was on my way to my "business meeting" on friday - i started pondering about all this, saying to myself it was actually by observing women more than men that one could understand how things work here, at the social and community level. because they are (or make themselves) more visible. and also because men here are just too different to approach even if you need to ask what time it is.
seemingly, and because of some unwritten internal rule - women here seem to handle most of the networking / mingling and socialising - even more so if the belong to a well off background.
i remember one of my students telling me: "the way it works with a rich family is... if they have a daughter - her daddy either buys her a fancy shop or a boutique hotel to run. or...if she really insists on studying at uni...she studies psychology - and then her daddy buys a clinic for her in the best part of town where she receives patients two days a week".
so this woman i met belonged to the "daddy-bought-the-shop" specimen. as i entered her office -- she looked typical to me from the very start. sided by an extroverted friend - she sat me down for a long chat, overdosing on smiles and details on the number of houses she owned, making sure to specify she found izmir parochial and small. informing me her children were attending some famed school. enumerating the times she had been to italy / europe / america. i nodded on as her friend told me about her two years' stay in the u.s. and the french she mastered. when we got onto the business side of things - they both eagerly pointed out they were hoping for me to be "available" starting from february. this made me smile a little bit. i had a voice reasoning inside of me "baby coming mid/end of jan. - just tell them there is no bloody way", but turkey has taught me that you should never say "yes" or "no". straight forwardness can hardly be described as a social lubricant(this is true everywhere - but chronically so around here)... so i said (while still nodding) that "why not. everything is possible" + i was going to be in touch. and then left soon after.
came to the conclusion that women with money here can be divided into two groups: women with old money and women with new money. both are very interesting lots -- but the second set is somehow more entertaining. typically the main characteristics of local women with new money are as follows:
1. they are everything but demure, opting for massive hairdos, huge sunglasses, loads of make up, and drag queen-ish outfits (accessorised wiht furs, animal prints, oversized bags, you name it). they consider peroxide neon blonde as a perfect hair colour to look young and funky.
2. everything about them is over the top and while overdisplaying affection when they greet friends in bars and restaurants - they retain a certain defiant, fierce, almost angry face at all times.
3. they do not work. their husbands have some family business / small and medium enterprise / manifacturing company / import - export thing. they live in one of the "new" residential areas half an hour far from the main ("historical") neighbourhood of the city.
4. they are extremely label conscious and make sure to display in clear sight all the brands they are wearing.
5. they have a huge inferiority complex about istanbul but make sure to mention they go there to shop.
6. they love to go on expensive trips abroad. everyone's favourite seems to be paris. where they head to for three days of family fun at eurodisney followed by a one day cultural trip to...the galeries lafayette.
7. they have very poor manners - always speak too loud and never like to queue up. they are bossy (sort of dominatrix-bossy) with waiters and weary with foreigners.
8. they prefer to have a live in maid. best if filipino (trendy, apparently).
9. their children go to international schools and wear american clothes. if they struggle with their university studies they are enrolled into some obscure faculties in cyprus, bulgaria or romania.
10. their husbands look like hairier, balder and beefier copycats of tom jones.
11. they despise exercise in all of its forms and opt for plastic surgery (in all of its forms). they do not read, ever and despise any form of foreign food. however - they do enter the only sushi restaurant in town if they really want to impress.
12. they are ecstatic to be featured in the local society magazine "diva".
13. they all smell the same. usually buying the latest perfumes from expensive brands like chloe or tom ford (their hefty price tag somehow makes them smell sweeter).
it was an interesting meeting for me. not from a professional point of view - but more from a psychological perspective. i have come to realise i seem to talk and meet new people here --mainly because i enjoy to observe them better, from a closer angle.
and after one year of doing this - i figure i could write a book about the social dynamics of izmir.
surely, if you compare this city with europe what will stand out in the first place is the noticeable poor standards of living of a huge percentage of the population. their clothes, manners, faces and dead end lives are nothing short than shocking for a visitor used to more westernised and globalised scenarios.
however -- izmir and the country (at least the western side of it) are currently going through an unprecedented moment of development...with the upper middle and upper classes benefiting the most from economic growth and new forms of wealth and affluency. so, it is actually this part of the population that is changing more (and faster) over here. and it is this portion of the locals that seems to offer more food for thought on how manners, habits and behaviours change along with better incomes and better social statuses.
as i was on my way to my "business meeting" on friday - i started pondering about all this, saying to myself it was actually by observing women more than men that one could understand how things work here, at the social and community level. because they are (or make themselves) more visible. and also because men here are just too different to approach even if you need to ask what time it is.
seemingly, and because of some unwritten internal rule - women here seem to handle most of the networking / mingling and socialising - even more so if the belong to a well off background.
i remember one of my students telling me: "the way it works with a rich family is... if they have a daughter - her daddy either buys her a fancy shop or a boutique hotel to run. or...if she really insists on studying at uni...she studies psychology - and then her daddy buys a clinic for her in the best part of town where she receives patients two days a week".
so this woman i met belonged to the "daddy-bought-the-shop" specimen. as i entered her office -- she looked typical to me from the very start. sided by an extroverted friend - she sat me down for a long chat, overdosing on smiles and details on the number of houses she owned, making sure to specify she found izmir parochial and small. informing me her children were attending some famed school. enumerating the times she had been to italy / europe / america. i nodded on as her friend told me about her two years' stay in the u.s. and the french she mastered. when we got onto the business side of things - they both eagerly pointed out they were hoping for me to be "available" starting from february. this made me smile a little bit. i had a voice reasoning inside of me "baby coming mid/end of jan. - just tell them there is no bloody way", but turkey has taught me that you should never say "yes" or "no". straight forwardness can hardly be described as a social lubricant(this is true everywhere - but chronically so around here)... so i said (while still nodding) that "why not. everything is possible" + i was going to be in touch. and then left soon after.
came to the conclusion that women with money here can be divided into two groups: women with old money and women with new money. both are very interesting lots -- but the second set is somehow more entertaining. typically the main characteristics of local women with new money are as follows:
1. they are everything but demure, opting for massive hairdos, huge sunglasses, loads of make up, and drag queen-ish outfits (accessorised wiht furs, animal prints, oversized bags, you name it). they consider peroxide neon blonde as a perfect hair colour to look young and funky.
2. everything about them is over the top and while overdisplaying affection when they greet friends in bars and restaurants - they retain a certain defiant, fierce, almost angry face at all times.
3. they do not work. their husbands have some family business / small and medium enterprise / manifacturing company / import - export thing. they live in one of the "new" residential areas half an hour far from the main ("historical") neighbourhood of the city.
4. they are extremely label conscious and make sure to display in clear sight all the brands they are wearing.
5. they have a huge inferiority complex about istanbul but make sure to mention they go there to shop.
6. they love to go on expensive trips abroad. everyone's favourite seems to be paris. where they head to for three days of family fun at eurodisney followed by a one day cultural trip to...the galeries lafayette.
7. they have very poor manners - always speak too loud and never like to queue up. they are bossy (sort of dominatrix-bossy) with waiters and weary with foreigners.
8. they prefer to have a live in maid. best if filipino (trendy, apparently).
9. their children go to international schools and wear american clothes. if they struggle with their university studies they are enrolled into some obscure faculties in cyprus, bulgaria or romania.
10. their husbands look like hairier, balder and beefier copycats of tom jones.
11. they despise exercise in all of its forms and opt for plastic surgery (in all of its forms). they do not read, ever and despise any form of foreign food. however - they do enter the only sushi restaurant in town if they really want to impress.
12. they are ecstatic to be featured in the local society magazine "diva".
13. they all smell the same. usually buying the latest perfumes from expensive brands like chloe or tom ford (their hefty price tag somehow makes them smell sweeter).
________________________________________________________
on the other hand... local women with "old" money - seem to follow these other patterns:
1. they opt for dark clothes and expensive, classic coats. their hair is usually cut in long, well groomed bobs invariably dyed of a very intense, yet classy auburn shade.
2. they have a ready smile and extroverted but somehow understated manners.
3. they work. often as owners a high end shop / boutique hotel. their families own "areas" of the best neighbourhood in town (say two or three blocks of flats) that they rent out.
4. they buy expensive clothes but making sure they kind of look french / european.
5. they love istanbul and often own a house there. they also have a "summer house" where they move to permanently with their entire family, for three months a year (every year) - in the seaside towns of cesme or alacati, half an hour from the city.
6. they love anything european and usually spend one or two years in the states at some point / for whatever reason.
7. they have good manners and treat politely waiters and anybody assisting them / working for them -- yet with the touch of distance that is typical of those definitely not accustomed to get a "no" for an answer.
8. their housekeeping staff is usually turkish and strictly not live-in. they may have a driver.
9. their children go to the best turkish high schools.
10. their husbands look like inflated versions of danny de vito. they live in spacious flats in the most "historical" part of town.
11. they go to a pilates / yoga studio once or twice a week. they read interior design magazines and are curious to try foreign food - especially if european.
12. they call society magazine "diva" only for the opening of their new outlet / hotel / etc.
13. they usually go for classic, ultra predicable fragrances like "eternity" from cavin klein; "tresor" by lancome; "shalimar" by guerlain; "flower" by kenzo; "angel" by thierry mugler.
2. they have a ready smile and extroverted but somehow understated manners.
3. they work. often as owners a high end shop / boutique hotel. their families own "areas" of the best neighbourhood in town (say two or three blocks of flats) that they rent out.
4. they buy expensive clothes but making sure they kind of look french / european.
5. they love istanbul and often own a house there. they also have a "summer house" where they move to permanently with their entire family, for three months a year (every year) - in the seaside towns of cesme or alacati, half an hour from the city.
6. they love anything european and usually spend one or two years in the states at some point / for whatever reason.
7. they have good manners and treat politely waiters and anybody assisting them / working for them -- yet with the touch of distance that is typical of those definitely not accustomed to get a "no" for an answer.
8. their housekeeping staff is usually turkish and strictly not live-in. they may have a driver.
9. their children go to the best turkish high schools.
10. their husbands look like inflated versions of danny de vito. they live in spacious flats in the most "historical" part of town.
11. they go to a pilates / yoga studio once or twice a week. they read interior design magazines and are curious to try foreign food - especially if european.
12. they call society magazine "diva" only for the opening of their new outlet / hotel / etc.
13. they usually go for classic, ultra predicable fragrances like "eternity" from cavin klein; "tresor" by lancome; "shalimar" by guerlain; "flower" by kenzo; "angel" by thierry mugler.
p.s. local society magazine "diva" is laughable to say the least... yet telling (oh, soooo telling) about the "good life" of well-off turkey...
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