...lost in translation

(i)

i should walk around town with a bodyguard in tow. evey day, i lose count of the people that approach me to bless me. they come close - point at my pregnant tummy and throw their arms up in the air / hug me / wish me luck / ask questions / invoke god's name in all fashions and loud voices. today, as i was paying my groceries, a very eager woman clutching her purse came right under my nose to whisper: "i wish your baby plenty of health. take good care of yourself" and then left. usually what i hear is: "may god bless you" or "may god bless you forty-one times" or even "may god look upon you". and whoever says this then (a tad scary...) tries to hug me, rub my stomach or at least hold my hand / arm. i have kind of gotten used to it -- yet the pathos that goes with this constant chanting (a lot of people literally scream + all of them turn their eyes to the sky + some clap their hands in a whim) is always a bit bizarre. my turkish friend s. wisely suggested "look, they bless you and all - but remember how people here are plain jealous and so, so superstitious...hence - just remember to scratch your butt whenever somebody pays you a compliment like that. since, deep down - they just feel envy. scratch your butt and you will keep bad luck at bay!" which may sound just wacky to you - but NOT to me, especially after living here for one year and actually having some real awareness of what a labyrinth the average turkish mind can be.

so... i just seem to be suddenly fond of patting my rear non-stop these days!

another funny thing about all this unrequested attention about my pregnancy is listening to the questions people (mainly women) ask. if they belong to the 15 - 35 years old age group they ask about how many kilos i have gained, whereas if they are any age from 35 to 105 they seem keen to ask "will you have a c section or a natural birth??" - because, they are quick to add, a caesarean is an evil beast and leaves you feeling horrid afterwards. right, you tell them - thank you, thank you sooooo much... and try to move on / walk away with a smile...

(hardly ever succeeding, btw)...

(ii)

one thing that used to have me in despair when we first got here - is that usually turkish products carry labels in one language only: turkish. one year later - i actually find a secret, amused pleasure in reading the very few packages of the very few products that carry explanations in english. there is a certain fussy pompousness to turkish rhetoric that surely must be very difficult to render in english... and some attempts i read here and there are clear, intriguing examples of this. also, turkish companies - no matter what they manifacture - they seem to have an absolute fetish for "prizes" and "medals" and "quality awards" voted by obscure, unknown and remote panels in some foreign country.

take my favourite local cologne, for instance. the first bit i love about its orange box is a very grave addition, next to the main label... a round logo informing: "1981 GOLD MEDAL AWARDED BY MONDE SELECTION, BRUXELLES" which, since (i figure) they have kept there for the past twenty years (!) should be taken as some kind of distinction. below such prestigious mark - one can read the following text ((sic! - spelling, grammar and all)):

-- the story of REBUL lavander -- the rebul lavander is a classical and traditional cologne. lavander is an original mediterrenian flower. its relaxing and strong fragrance has been very appreciated by many generations. each year the lavander flowers are collected from the southern region of france (grasse) before sunrise and is transported to the extraction plant where we recieve the very pure lavander perfume oil. the perfume oil is brought to our cologne manufacturing factory and treated under modern and aseptic conditions for such a wonderful result, which we believe will continue its popularity for future generations.

and then - another instance i always enjoy to read - there is the label for a delicious white grape juice... one that states, with a touch of unexpected poetry:

produced by pressing with skin and seeds, not from concentrate. haze is natural in time. contains no preservative. contains natural fruit sugar only.

HAZE IS NATURAL IN TIME - call me childish...but i just love this one.