Monday, 17 October 2011

eligible candidate on bus 169

went for a job interview today. on the way i was asked to present a document - i unzipped my bag and started rummaging for my passport. nearly had a heart attack as, digging deep with my hand i discovered... a loaded SPIDERMAN GUN, complete with two bullets and a swirling trigger.
can i get more professional than that?
on my way out of the house - our landlady decided to play mrs. Wisdom and proffered the following immortal statement "good luck. but please remember that you have kids. so it is either kids or career. cant have them both". that somehow cracked me up "nothing to worry" i reassured her " i have never had a career for starters!" -
reaching the private university where the interview was taking place was a 45 minutes affair. on the bus. on a windy, cold, cloudy day. the bus was packed with people and it slowly skirted the entire gulf - elbowing its long red body through traffic.
it was the first time i ventured onto a bus after two years here and i would sum the experience up as "something lacking any form of compromise".
in terms of olfactory, visual and anthropological inputs.
in terms of...
colourful headscarves; huge bosoms; walrus bismarckian moustaches stained by decades of tobacco; bushy ears; monobrows; hungry eyes; high school uniforms.
there was an infant in the seat by one of the doors and i could not help thinking he looked uncannily like roman polanski.
trying to keep myself occupied with less cruel mental extravaganzas - i focused on the sea outside...a limitless sequence of grey waves.
and i felt mellow (happily so) - telling myself that the sea on cold, winter-like days is so beautiful...unfolding in its untamed darkness and irregular, sudden creases.
and that interviews are easy, too easy really - especially when deep down. in truth. you never care. really care i mean.
had i been jim morrison - i would have written some pretentious lyrics to render this state of mind. perhaps with teenage-like intensity. perhaps something cornily pretentious. perhaps:
oh dear.
how naff.
then came the spiderman gun.
and my day was made.

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