(1) will quit work in approx. ten days and i cannot even begin to say how sorry i feel about this. i will miss teaching. when we first moved here i kind of dreaded the idea of a teaching job - picturing a future of idle time spent with bratty, unbearable students. which was not the case in the end (quite the opposite, actually) and i now know i will miss being at school immensely. teaching has allowed me to gain unique insight into turkey and turkish ways - but it has also been a very enjoyable professional and personal experience. all in all, i do have a strong sense of gratitude for a merely accidental job that has made me more curious about others and happy to read more, do more and do better.
(2) my topic for this week is "advantages and disadvantages". this time around i am asking my students to point out at the positives and negatives of different conditions. e.g. being a university student versus working; being a man versus being a woman; being born in turkey instead of somewhere else; etc.
collected some interesting answers so far. remarkably, most students - when questioned about the advantages and disadvantages of their nationality tend to state that the major con about it is "being looked down at by other countries" - whereas they very often mention as a pro the "geographical position we have" (?) alongside "our very long and heroic history".
girls tend to get kind of quiet when they have to explain what they enjoy about being women. they all seem to complain about how easier things are for men - usually described as "stronger... more dominant... and much, much freer...". also...one guy in my class tonight came up with the most extravagant idea - saying that the pain of labour experienced by women giving birth is a piece of cake if you compare it with the excruciating pain of circumcision. plus, he added with a serene smile - "even if you work... with pregnancy...what you get is a long holiday - that's lucky, i think".
fascinating. almost mesmerising.
(3) christmas was a quaint affair - and a working day for me. waking up to the sight of my baby boy opening his presents was exciting and sweet... but i will forever be grateful for yet another relatives-free christmas. just exchanging wishes over the phone with family members i never hear from for the rest of the year (including my older brother) did somehow manage to depress me slightly. call me a rotten consummerist - but i seem to enjoy the festive atmosphere (lights, decorations, carols, snowy landscapes, pretty cakes, candles...) more than the actual core of christmas rituals, namely: family rounds, embarassing moments of awkardness, overcrowded parties you never wanted to attend to begin with and the silliness of forced rethorics about the joys of family life. something that, if it is real and sound...will never need to be celebrated - let alone blabbed about.
(4) with 2010 drawing to a close - i find myself looking back and thinking it was a very eventful year. it kind of took off in a rather uncertain, confusing / slow way - but it had very many precious moments. summer was amazing to say the least - and very rarely i can recall another sunny season filled with so much beauty and real, utter relaxation. turkey does have some gems of places to visit and enjoy.
overall, i would say it was a very different year. it did make me a better person - more capable of truly enjoying smaller things; more capable of listening; more into sports; more passionate about cooking, reading, writing; more into movies; more "there" for the friends i really care for; more practical. and somehow happier - i would dare to say...even if some aspects of my new turkish life still baffle me - like the bizarre, unglobalised, unexplainable social ties and life i seem to put up with here. on a more intimate note...emotionally - my feeling is that i keep on giving (and giving in!) while receiving only indirectly and from unexpected sources (like students, whom - if you put it into perspective - are in truth little more than strangers) and receiving zero (if not mediocrity) from people i was naively hoping more from. something natural, i figure -- perhaps (anthropologically) fascinating, at times...but hardly fun, at the end of the day.
yet... after all i have recently learnt that everything is relative - even grief... and, as my student tonight had the cheek of pointing out -- no pain can compare to the pains of circumcision! (..."and that's lucky, i think!")...
(5) looking forward to receiving soon visit of friend landing here on wednesday and coming to celebrate new year at ours.
(6) two days before xmas, i fell asleep during introductory visit to private clinic where i will give birth in a couple of weeks. the place had the tacky grandeur of some of the public buildings built in romania under the dictatorship of leader ceausescu. the staff seemed lovely. the rest of the soon-to-be mothers taking part in the introductory session - were safely sided by their respective husbands who looked 50% bored and 50% clumsy. perhaps... as i could relate more to these feelings of puzzlement - as soon as i sat down on a couch i fell asleep. only to be awaken by a nurse commenting in a soft voice "look at this one. god bless!!".
(p.s.) concept of "privileged geography" of turkey still escaping me.
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