haircuts are OUT

by the way... i am pregnant at the moment -- which feels like a rather daft thing to say, like that, just out of the blue. even face to face or in person -- i tend to skip the topic altogether and have some kind of allergy to showing off the fact i am expecting...out of reservedness, i figure -- but also out of the conviction most people have zero time and real interest to actually put up with your detailed reports on monthly scans, amusing (right...) tales on gastric reflux and your belief epidural should be promoted by the international court for human rights...somehow, even if i am 8 months pregnant as of today...pregnancy to me still does not seem like a relevant thing to share much either in everyday life... or on this blog. however, having said that... my fondness for lists has kind of got the better of me...to the extent that i have reached the conclusion that...a tad of interest in the whole thing may perhaps arise from some notes on what i see as the pros and cons -- for a foreigner -- to experience pregnancy in this country.

so...

my five (5) pros would read as follows:

1. the attitude turkish people have towards children and little ones. i find it full of optimism, enthusiasm and genuine joy.

2. the quality of medical care you get and the impeccable ethics doctors have here.

3. the social and cultural approach people have towards pregnancy and childhood. meaning: there is a slightly fuddy-duddy sense of poetry everyone associates to either of the two -- which is so passe, alright...but interestingly unusual. i have noticed even young people and teenagers tend to smile and stare with starry eyes when they see a pregnant woman...while in other parts of the world being preggers has kind of become the ultimate act of de-womanisation. during one break at school i was approached by one of my students, a 21 year old lad -- who had the urge to inform me that "in our religion we believe that women have heaven under their feet...because they can be mothers"... which perhaps may sound melodramatic -- but meant to be sweet and kind. (and was received as such).

4. because of my limited turkish -- the only job i can actually have here is a teaching one. and a part time one. what a blessing! i have realised very soon that experiencing a pregnancy while working only few hour a day is an amazing luxury.

5. people sometimes use the expression "slow food" for lovingly crafted cuisine... and i sometimes think you could label life here as "slow life". there is no rush, there is no hurry, people love to keep it relaxed and laid back -- if not slacky and a bit lazy. as indulgent as it may sound -- it is the ideal dimension for the early days of a new life. plus...because of how simple (and slow!) many things are...people are still foreign to trends that seem to have taken by a storm american and european families -- cajoling them into enlightening pedagogical, nutritional and educational methods to raise better, more gifted, more self aware, more "competitive" offsprings. turkey is still very far from this type of scenario...and maintains a no-nonsense approach to kids...perhaps sticking only to two general principles:

you should shower them with unconditional love; and -- if you do not understand them 100%...oh well, boot them out in the open air and "things will work out". which is not exactly super deep -- but seems like a happy alternative after all...

on the other hand... my five (5) cons about being pregnant in turkey would be:

1. everybody touches you! everyone. from the wife of your colleague to the lady selling you bread; to the primary school kid you are giving private lessons to. everyone seems to have the irresistible urge to rub your stomach, touch your face, hug you, lift your sweater, parade you holding you by the shoulders. this bit i must say i kind of hate!

2. a slight, puzzling ignorance about any medical knowledge on what one should do vs. avoid when pregnant. everyone here seems to believe being pregnant implies you HAVE TO stuff your face 24/7; spend your afternoons sleeping; gain an average of 25 to 35 kilos and indulge in sweets, french fries and heaps of chocolate; avoid ANY form of exercise (god forbid) and take a cab even if you have to go somewhere one block away.

3. the rather poor choice of prams / strollers and some routine maternity buys. streets here do not offer a smooth ride (to say the least) -- yet... most toddlers are pushed around in prams of the same (shaky, tiny, uncool) type i used for my favourite doll when i was at kindergarden. bizarre.

4. any kind of involvement of your male significant other in any of the sequences of the pregnancy is doomed to be blasted as an eccentric, useless, abnormal bout. deep down, my feeling is that the culture here expects women to crucify themselves over maternity (and family in general). men should be left out of any of it -- and simply make sure to express their manly pride, best if while smoking their 56th cigarette of the day.

5. the comedy pieces of advice you receive by passers by in the street, by the lady queueing up behind you at starbucks, by the guy selling roasted chestnuts below your house, by the young girl waiting next to you for the green light at the crosscroad close to your job.

indispensable tips collected so far include.
-- (pointing at your (very normal) handbag): you should not carry weights!

-- in turkey we say that pregnant women should eat all the food that comes into their sight, at all times!

-- (pointing at your glass of apple spritzer): you should not drink alcohol!

-- (pointing at your cup of tisane): you should not drink caffeine!

and

-- ((the most gothic of all...so far...but i still have two months to go!))

"when you are pregnant you should never get a haircut. if you cut your hair -- you will shorten your baby's life!"